Why Writing Together Might Be the Way Forward

Lately, I’ve been reflecting on how often I hear the same phrase from researchers, students, and colleagues:

"I just need time to write."

It’s said with a kind of weariness. A longing. Sometimes even guilt.

Time to write always feels just out of reach. There’s teaching to prep, admin to chase, WhatsApps to reply to, families to care for, and the constant hum of everyday tasks. Writing becomes something we try to wedge between everything else — and most of the time, it gets pushed to the bottom of the list.

We tell ourselves we’ll write after hours. On weekends. During that magical 'quiet week' that never comes.

And when we finally do carve out a sliver of time, we often do it alone. Shut the door. Put our phones on silent. Open the laptop. And hope the words come.

But they often don’t.

Why Isolation Doesn’t Always Work

We’ve been sold this idea of the writer as a solitary genius — holed up in a room, pouring out brilliance in perfect silence.

But real academic writing rarely looks like that.

What I’ve seen — both in my own writing life and in mentoring hundreds of postgrads — is that isolation often creates more pressure than clarity. When you’re alone, it’s easier for doubt to creep in. To spiral into perfectionism. To start and stop and start again without any real momentum.

When I ask people what really helps them write, the answers are surprisingly similar:

• "I booked a weekend away with two friends — we just wrote and cooked together."
• "I stayed at my cousin’s house for a few days — no housework, just me and my research."
• "We did writing sprints on Zoom — it helped just knowing someone else was also working."

It turns out, writing doesn’t just need time. It needs:

Structure (a plan for what to do and when)

Support (someone to check in or offer a kind nudge)

Separation (space away from the usual responsibilities)

Solidarity (just knowing others are in it too)

When those things are present — even informally — writing shifts. It becomes lighter. Less intimidating. More like something you can do.

The Weight of Waiting

When we delay writing for too long, it becomes heavier. That half-finished proposal turns into a source of shame. That unwritten article becomes a mental block. That thesis draft becomes a ghost we avoid.

I’ve seen it happen with so many brilliant researchers. People with powerful ideas — who just couldn’t find the time or conditions to write. And after a while, it’s not just about productivity. It’s about confidence.

The truth is, the longer we carry our writing without attending to it, the more it weighs us down.

And the cost? It’s not just missed deadlines or lost funding. It’s the emotional weight. The exhaustion. The sense that maybe we’re not cut out for this after all.

But you are. You just need the right space to breathe and begin again.

What’s Helped Me (and Others)

In my own journey — and through running retreats — I’ve seen the power of creating time on purpose. Whether it’s a solo writing day with your phone off, or a structured weekend away with others, that deliberate carve-out makes all the difference.

That’s why I started hosting writing retreats. I wanted to create the kind of space I wish I’d had during my PhD. A place where people could write without interruption, feel seen, and make meaningful progress without pressure.

But honestly? You don’t need a retreat to do this.

You just need:

To acknowledge that writing deserves space in your life

To find (or build) a rhythm that works for you

To seek out others who value writing and want to do it together

Sometimes that’s a retreat. Sometimes it’s a writing group, a weekly writing hour, or a weekend getaway with friends. What matters most is the intention: to give your writing the focus and honour it deserves.

You Deserve Time to Write

So if you’re reading this with a heavy document on your desktop — a chapter, a draft, an idea you’ve been carrying for months — know this:

You don’t have to wait for the perfect time. You don’t have to do it alone. And you’re not the only one who’s struggled to find your rhythm.

Writing is not just about the words. It’s about giving yourself the space to show up to them.

And when you do — especially alongside others who are also showing up — something shifts.

Maybe this week, you book a morning off. Maybe you message a friend and say, “Want to write together for two hours?” Maybe you step away — just long enough to return with new energy.

Whatever it looks like for you — I hope you find your way back to the page.

And if you ever need a place to do that with support and stillness — our retreat space is open.

📅 Learn more: https://research4you.co.za/live-lessons