When Life Gets in the Way: A Gentle Reset for Postgraduates Who Feel Stuck

There’s a quiet kind of stuckness no one really prepares you for. It doesn’t come from laziness or lack of ideas. It comes when life gets heavy.

And that’s exactly what happened to me recently.

I had every intention of making real progress on my book. I’d cleared my calendar, set up my space, and even had a clear plan. But despite all that… I didn’t write.

Because life had other plans.

When Life Interrupts Research

First, my partner got hurt. Not a small injury, but something that needed daily care and attention. I found myself juggling meals, medical check-ins, emotional support, and constant coordination.

At the same time, family dynamics flared up in unexpected ways. Suddenly, I was navigating tension, long calls, misunderstandings, and the weight of everyone’s emotions while trying to keep my own head above water.

And I was tired. Not the kind of tired that sleep fixes, but the deep exhaustion that comes from holding too much, for too long.

The research, and the book I care about deeply, simply had to wait.

You’re Not Failing. You’re Adapting.

Here’s what I’ve come to realise and what I want you to know too:

• If life has interrupted your progress, it doesn’t mean you’re undisciplined or uncommitted. It means you’re human.
• You’re adapting to the unpredictable rhythms of real life, and that takes more strength than pushing through ever will.

Academic timelines often assume ideal conditions.
But the real world, with its caregiving, health crises, work stress, and emotional upheavals, doesn’t play by that schedule.

Stuck Isn’t Permanent — But It Needs Gentleness

During that time, I kept telling myself things like:

“I should be writing.”

“Everyone else is making progress.”

“This will just put me behind.”

But eventually, I stopped fighting myself and said: “This is life. And I’m in it.”

And once I softened my expectations, I began to see a way forward — not through force, but through grace.

A New Kind of Progress

When I finally returned to my draft, I didn’t aim to write a full chapter. I simply opened the document, reread a few paragraphs, and highlighted one sentence that still resonated with me. I scheduled a meeting to break the block and set a timer for 30 minutes to freewrite. 

That was enough. That was progress.

Sometimes, coming back at all is the bravest thing we do.

Gentle Truths to Carry With You

If you’re reading this in the middle of a messy, stressful, or tender season, I want to offer you these truths:

You don’t need to catch up — you need to reconnect.

You don’t need a comeback — just a quiet re-entry.

You don’t need to prove yourself — you need to be kind to yourself.

Let your return to your research be gentle. Let it match your current capacity. Let it be yours.

A Soft Reset: What You Can Try This Week

If you’re ready to begin again, here’s a soft, compassionate way to start:

✅ Reflect: What have you survived or carried lately that deserves recognition?

✅ Reconnect: What part of your research still sparks something in you — even faintly?

✅ Restart: What’s the smallest, most doable next step you can take?

(Opening your notebook? Reading an article? Writing a sentence?)
That’s enough. That’s a beginning.

If you’re stuck because life got in the way, I see you. You’re not broken. You’re not lazy. You’re not alone.

You’re a whole human doing deeply meaningful work in the middle of a complicated life. And slowly, gently, you can find your way back.

Because progress isn’t just measured in words or chapters — it’s also found in the decision to begin again.

You’re not behind.
You’re becoming.

And that’s a kind of progress that’s powerful, even when the world doesn’t see it.